


The Bet

by Goldmallow



Category: Naruto
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Humor, Founding of Konoha era, Gambling, Gen, Technically lol, Undercover Missions, inspired by episode 469, team shenanigans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-17
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-05-13 18:52:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19257133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldmallow/pseuds/Goldmallow
Summary: “I want a Spring funeral. And for the love of Kami, don’t skimp on the incense.”“You’re going to be fine.” Reassures Koharu, patting Kagami's bandaged cheek. “You’ll be in and out.”“What if I get caught?” Implores Kagami. “What do Ido?”Torifu steps into view and, possibly in a reassuring manner, responds. “Pretend you’re blind.”





	The Bet

 

“Okay. Ten Ryo on mission gone wrong.”

 

Torifu snorts, but turns slightly in his chair and takes the money amount, writing it down.

 

Koharu turns her body towards them, and blinks unimpressed. “Really Hiruzen? You think he would have gotten _that_ from a mission gone topside?”

 

He shrugs back, lifting up his arms to fold behind his head, grinning like a cat. “Hey. Stranger things have happened.” He says, as if either of them have witnessed something like this in all their years as shinobi.

 

But the truth was, they haven’t.

 

Kagami jumps down from the nearby shingled roof, landing near the buildings street corner. “Twenty on training rookies.” He greets.

 

Hiruzen looks up at that. Kagami has something strange and yellow on his cheek.

 

“Your expectations for graduated nin is, embarrassingly sad.” Retorts Danzo, leaning beside him to the left in the darkened alleyway.

 

“Not to mention your expectations for an elite.” Quips Torifu, eyeing the money and counting it.

 

Kagami rolls his eyes, and waves a hand around.“I know he’s notably skilled... but they could have surprised him..or something.”

 

Torifu stops his ledgering. He eyes him with fake pity.

 

“What’s on your cheek?” Hiruzen finally asks.

 

Kagami lifts up a readied hand and wipes at his face. “Ah.” He simply says. “That would be the paint that was thrown at me.”

 

Hiruzen sighs and sinks his back more into the wall. “Why was paint thrown at you?”

 

“You were spotted, weren’t you?” Koharu voices, dry as kilned wood.

 

Kagami touches his chest reverently. “I very nearly died,” He Insists. “I was lucky to escape as unscathed as I did.”

 

“And how was paint involved?” Raises Hiruzen. He looks at his teammate with interest. “You still have impressively not mentioned it.”

 

Kagami kneads his cheek till the paint was rubbed completely gone from his face. “They were doing village rounds near the senior painting class.” He shortly, dejectedly explains, knowing they could fill in the obvious blanks.

 

Danzo rolls his eyes and says “Typical.” just as Torifu lifts up his head to curiously voice: “They have a senior painting class?”

 

Hiruzen and Koharu both look like they’re having a hard time not sniggering at his expense. The usual.

 

“What about you Danzo?” Hiruzen asks after his mirth dies down, turning towards his crotchety friend in the alleyway. “What do you think?”

 

His taciturn teammate carefully thinks it over. “It depends,” He eventually answers, turning to face Kagami. “You're the one who did the reconnaissance; what did you see?”

 

The Uchiha places a hand at his waist belt and reports. “Well it definitely is real.” He announces. “I could see it from my perch. And his demeanor seemed put-off with the situation...he kept huffing. Like a disgruntled ornery cat.”

 

Danzo hums, contemplative.

 

“Well. We won’t ever figure out how he got it, by relying on Kagami's lousy recon alone,” Torifu points out to everyone. They all ignore the Uchihas small protests. “We need to get closer.”

 

Koharu, quiet the whole exchange, looks away distantly before pointedly uttering “Thirty Ryo on Madara-sama being involved somehow.”

 

The group simultaneously winces.

 

Torifu accepts her currency, and adds his own.

 

“I have an idea.” Hiruzen loudly counters, hands spreading out in the air as he plans. “But we’ll all have to play our part.”

 

***

 

“Okay, so who here knows what the best offense is, for gathering important intel.” Hiruzen prompts upfront. “Anyone?”

 

The seated crowd of small school children is silent in studious thought, till a few courageous pudgy hands lifted up into the air.

 

Hiruzen sighs, eyeing the Yūhi kid in the middle all-too-knowingly. “And _no,_ Motoyori-chan,” he presses deeply. “Surprise tickle fights do not count.”

 

A hand goes down.

 

Then five more hands go down.

 

Hiruzen casts a half-exasperated look towards his teammates. Normally Koharu would be the one to save face in these types of situations, but she can’t seeing as she’s currently talking to (distracting) the classes _actual_ teacher in the hallway. Torifu steps up.

 

“Okay,” He starts. “Make a group. Those who want to help in our top-secret mission—gather in front of us. Those who don't, stay seated.”

 

Five students untangle themselves from their seats and form a small line before them, at the promise of a top-secret mission. These were either the bravest in the class or the dumbest. One could argue, both. Luckily for them they could honestly work with either.

 

“Hm. Great.” Says Hiruzen approvingly, eyeing the young gullible prospects in order. Even though the Izunaka boy in the front row with the obnoxious bubblegum didn’t volunteer like he suspected, Hiruzen still liked the turnout. “Now we just have to choose the kid most qualified for the job.”

 

After a pause, Hiruzen feels slow sweat gathering at his forehead, because he suddenly realizes he doesn’t know how to determine that.

 

He peers over across the room to stare at his colleagues—more specifically his more critically and terribly blunt teammate. “Danzo.” Hiruzen says (begs). “You choose.”

 

At the silence, Kagami promptly sticks out his foot, and kicks Danzo leaning beside him. The scarred shinobi looks up from the floor with a deep frown.

 

The small soon-to-be shinobis all look at the raven haired teen, and their eyes grow wide in trepidation.

 

Torifu just knows that they see his teammate as the embodiment of the shinigami itself...They aren’t too off the mark, he commends.

 

Danzo frowns a bit, but upheaves his body from the wall like a sinister vulture leaving its perch, and stalks forward till he’s in front of the line. The children’s face’s pale.

 

Danzo, unbothered, eyes them. His face is disturbingly focused until he stops in front of the girl at the very far end. She was the sweetest and most innocent looking of the five.

 

“This one.” He declares, lifting up his chin. The Izunaka’s bubblegum pops on his face.

 

Turning around to face a curious Hiruzen, ignoring the vivid relief on the other volunteers, Danzo suitably continues. “She’s the only kid who didn’t cower in fear.” He explains.

 

Like some regal daimyō, Hiruzen hums and nods.

 

The others tune back to the center of the room, sweeping their gazes over to the chosen pre-genin. Kagami lets his lips tilt upwards and he gives an appraising thumbs up in her direction, as the rest of the kids scramble back to their seats, giving quiet thanks to their deities as they do.

 

The girl blinks.

 

***

 

“Okay so,” Kagami begins, finish tying up the small red ribbon in the golden locks. “You just need to play up the innocent schtick and cuteness factor—but definitely don’t over do it.” He explains. “Sensei can sense a liar a whole country away. Literally. You get me?”

 

The child in front of him is eerily silent. Then she lifts up a hand and purposely removes the ribbon with one harsh yank, taking some hair out along with it. The Uchiha takes a breath.

 

“Wow...yeah okay. Hey Hiruzen?” Kagami spins around to call out, tone just _slightly_ off. “Can we choose a different kid? This one seems...part demon.”

 

Hiruzen sets down his heavy scroll at the desk, lowers his spectacles, and eyes the two before him patiently.

 

The child crumbles up the wad of ribbon in her tiny grasp and maintains very strong eye contact. It was weirdly impressive. Hiruzen distantly blinks at the child, before looking back up at Kagami.

 

He shrugs casually. “No, she’s good.”

 

Kagami fights off the instinct to katon his scroll.

 

The Uchiha faces the child once more, tilting his head in thoughtful consideration, sighing. “Well as long as she accomplishes her mission, I guess she’s decent.” He relents, scratching the back of his head.

 

The child just ignores him and starts eating her hair ribbon.

 

Kagami just watches in morbid fascination.

 

When they do send her out, them hiding behind trees and leaves a fair distance away, the kid actually seems to perform her part well. She walks straight up to the Hokage and his brother on the street, and tugs at his robes. Kagami has to admit: that was an adorable move.

 

Hashirama turns down in surprise and smiles wide like the soft-hearted giant he is. “Well hello little girl!” He greets. “What’s your name?”

 

She stands perfectly still. “Chako.”

 

“Ooh! Well hello Chako!” He welcomes, bending down to her level, a twinkle in his eye. “Are those flowers for me?”

 

With a small nod, and an appeased smile at the excitement, the child extends one of the two pink flowers out to him, before looking up and away to eye the man beside him. “This one is for you.”

 

Koharu, the most adept at lip-reading of the five, turns the lens in her binoculars for more focus. “She’s offering the flowers now.” She says promptly. Torifu, Danzo, and Hiruzen nod in acknowledgement.

 

Kagami hums, letting his sharingan observe the transaction. “And now sensei is crouching and taking the flower from her. So far so good.” He comments, smirking triumphantly. “Time for our little spook to ask the infamous question.”

 

Hiruzen chuckles quietly behind them, closing his eyes in carefree confidence as he relaxes against the tree. “No one can say no to that little kid. Sensei is in for it.”

 

The group of five all wait in silent anticipation and agreeance—Torifu already thinking about pulling out his money pouch to accept his earnings.

 

And then.

 

Koharu opens her mouth as if to say something next—before she’s stiffening and woodenly lowering the binoculars back down to her lap. Mood noticeably different.

 

Kagami however continues to watch, face slowly turning pale in terror; clan’s ocular gaze horribly transfixed.

 

Danzo exchanges looks with just as perplexed Hiruzen and Torifu, before sharply looking down at his suddenly quiet teammates. “What? What happened?!” He demands.

 

Koharu just lifts up her binoculars in answer, posture still rigid and facing forward.

 

Danzo snatches the surveillance tool quickly, lifting it up in place, and looking out.

 

He aims it over to the dirt path, and sees their cherub spy waltzing away with the Hokage, towards the residential section of the village. He frowns. Their informant leaving before meeting up with them at the BBQ stand wasn’t part of the plan...

 

He pans over towards the busy streets to see where their operative was _supposed_ to be standing, schmoozing away—

 

But he stops.

 

Instead his gaze halts on Tobirama-sama.

 

Who is standing there alone, facing away from them—with an intimidating gaze boring over his shoulder directly at their perch.

 

(Somehow still managing to look terrifying despite his current condition.)

 

Their eyes meet.

 

Danzo defeatedly lowers the binoculars.

 

***

 

With Plan A a bust, they quickly got to work on another strategy. They relied on Chako to ask and achieve the answer for their bets, but that turned to be unfruitful. After thoughtful consideration they concluded that this time, conserving their resources was necessary.

 

Thus they decided to send-out only one person this time.

 

Someone who was a good _conversationalist_.

 

“ _Hokage-sama!”_ Hiruzen greets, hand waving in the air a few feet away. “It’s great I ran into you.”

 

Hashirama turns around from his lookout over the Hokage mountain, hands clasped behind his back. He eyes his visitor in wonder. “Hmm?”

 

Hiruzen smiles wide and walks over to him.

 

The eldest raises his left eyebrow at him, slowly. “Ah. Ran into me...on top of the Hokage Mountain?” He asks.

 

A tumbleweed blows by.

 

Hiruzen feels his smile twitch. He suddenly laughs, scrubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah! Well, I like to do my morning runs up here!” He remarks.

 

“It’s midday, Hiru-kun.”

 

“Anyway!—” Hiruzen inserts, clapping his hands together loudly. A flock of startled birds vacate a nearby tree. Hashirama watches them go. “Let’s talk!”

 

The younger shinobi then thinks back to what led him here, and he suffers internally, quietly.

 

_“Just think: who is Sensei's closest confidant?” Proposes Koharu, eyeing all of her teammates dully, after they regrouped. “It should be an easy answer.” She says after a beat of silence._

 

_Danzo scoffs from his position sitting on the training dummy, sharpening his tekko-kagi, like her train of thought was ridiculous. “Like the Hokage would tell us.”_

 

_“Well...hang on.” Voices Hiruzen from his sprawl on the grass suddenly. He sits up and eyes his teammate. “Koharu might be on the something.”_

 

 _Kagami steals some deep-fried tofu from his Akimichi friend, and chews on it. “Mmm.” He says, nodding as he agrees. “Hokage-sama_ is _famously known as a blabbermouth.”_

 

_“I think you mean infamous.” Corrects Torifu, smacking Kagami's wandering hand away from his bento._

 

_“Which means,” Koharu reigns them back patiently. “That if someone were to innocently nudge Hashirama-sama into the right direction, he’ll run off at the mouth.”_

 

_Everyone glances up at that, and they all share a sly look._

 

_“Mmm. Which means someone should just walk up to him and ask while Sensei is distracted.” Hiruzen adds helpfully._

 

_His four friends collectively face him._

 

“ _Oh no,” He replies right away, already reading their treacherous thoughts. “Definitely not, Absolutely not, and No way, no how.”_  
  
And that’s how he ended up here.

 

The dark-haired Senju blinks. “Talk?”

 

Hiruzen nods at him. “Yeah. Like anything... _interesting,_ happen lately Hokage-Sama?” He asks, tone mild as he inspects his nails. “Like, anything _noteworthy_?” To his Sensei specifically?

 

Hashirama pulls a face, before he hums in what is surely wary contemplation. “Ah haha. Hmm…” He starts with, eyeing the fixated teen before him. “I’m not sure my Hokage duties would interest you, Hiru-kun.” He explains, placatingly. “They’re pretty dull.”

 

“Oh no! That’s alright.” Hiruzen immediately reassures, giving an easy smile

 

Hashirama stares at him.

 

 _“Really_. I love learning about bureaucracy.” Hiruzen says after a brief moment of silence.

 

The Senju slowly blinks, shuffling his robes, before he clears his throat. “Ah. I see. Well...if you’re sure?...”

 

“I insist.”

 

Hashirama chuckles uneasily before relenting. “Alright. Hmm. Yesterday?” He thinks aloud, tapping his foot on the ground as he thinks. “I cannot recall anything too exciting..Oh!” He exclaims, suddenly perking up like an eager young puppy-dog.

 

Hiruzen's head snaps up.

 

“But there was that one thing!”

 

Hiruzen's eyes open wider in anticipation, and he soon is nodding along, encouragingly.

 

“Well there was this Mission you see…” Hashirama begins, as if he was telling something very important to his council. “And it had to do with your Sensei as a matter of fact.”

 

Those words were purely magic. Hiruzen feels the giddiness build up within. He leans forward.

 

Hashirama smiles big and he’s suddenly shaking his head in disbelief. “Oh Kami! It was the oddest thing. Let me tell you...I don’t think I’ve ever heard of something like this happening to anyone before...Truly!”

 

If Hiruzen wasn’t hanging off the edge of his metaphorical seat before, he certainly was now.

 

“And then what happened, Hokage-sama?” The teen inquires faintly, eyes dancing wild with anticipation. “ _What!?_ ”

 

But his words must not have been completely heard, for the village leader just opens his mouth to continue on—with a different story.

 

“Oh dear!” Hashirama chuckles deeply, shaking his head. “That reminds me of a time when my brother snuck into my office to fill out some paperwork... I forgot for this treaty negotiation…” Hashirama pleasantly prattles.

 

Hiruzen blinks. Then opens his mouth. “Uh, Hokage-Sama—”

 

The man ignores him. “...And then he had gravely appointed me the role of stalling, while he left to go fetch the documents..”

 

Hiruzen frowns, mood dispelling. “—Ah..”

 

“...Though I didn’t dare tell him that they weren’t even filled out to begin with...knowing he would have grilled me about it right then and there...HAHA!” Hashirama loudly bellows.

 

Hiruzen's eye twitches.

 

***

 

With buzzing ears and a slow pace, Hiruzen returns back to home base (Torifus kitchen) after ten minutes.

 

He expected his friends to perk up like daisies at his appearance, however they just get one look at him before they sigh quietly and look away.

 

“He didn’t spill.” He unnecessarily says as he comes to a full stop and collapses on the only vacant chair around. “Please don’t make me go back there. I think my ears are bleeding.”

 

Danzo rolls his eyes and pushes away his light reading, knowing he now wouldn’t be getting anything done for the rest of the day whilst in their company. “I knew it would be a waste of time.”

 

“I kinda knew it wouldn’t work,” adds Kagami. He’s sitting on the countertop and peeling a freshly washed apple with a kunai. “I just wanted you to suffer through a ‘Hokage-Sama talk’.”

 

Hiruzen makes a strained suffering noise and leans his head back to eye the ceiling. The chair groans at the posture. “Why? What have I ever done to _you_?”

 

“Payback.” Torifu immediately says to him. “For letting us go-through with that stupid plan of yours, earlier.” He’s sitting by Koharu and both are eyeing Hiruzen like he should apologize for being a halfwit. “Thanks to your earlier stunt, Sensei knows were up to something.”

 

Everyone seems to shift a bit, uneasy, as they recall the way the man had zeroed in on their perch an hour ago, like a golden-tailed hawk.

 

If it wasn’t for the mystery (and their riding bets), they would half cut their losses and disappeared into the mountains to live as hermits after that. Invoking such ire and or annoyance from Senju Tobirama never amounted to great things.

 

But the unknown was just too tempting.

 

Just how could that _happen_ to their eminent and powerful teacher, of all people? Such ponderings left them stumped and in awe at the same time.

 

 _A mission gone wrong?_ _A great asteroid hurtling from the sky at intense fiery speed? A supernatural creature emerging from the heavens to vindictively curse their obstinate Sensei for all and eternity?_ The possibilities were endless.

 

It was their duty, as fledgling philosophers of the shinobi arts, to find out how it happened...and if someone was dead as a result of it.

 

Kagami stops and frowns mid-chew in sudden revelation, recalling their failed mission. “That little girl still has my red ribbon...” He mutters.

 

“However.” Declares Torifu, regally. “We are willing to give you another chance.”

 

Koharu nods in agreeance beside him.

 

“This plan better be more elaborate and sensible, though.” She adds. “Or we’ll tell Sensei you were the one who temporarily stunned all of the fish in the Konoha hatchery that one time.”

 

Hiruzen lowers his head to look at them a bit affronted, slowly mumbling under his breath, “ _that was an accident. I was twelve.”_ Before clearing his throat and nodding. “Alright. Fair enough.”

 

Koharu and Torifu make mutually appeased sounds. “Good. So you’ve already come up with another plan, I take it?” Questions Koharu.

 

Hiruzen closes his eyes and hums deeply, seriously. “Of course.” He chastens.

 

Danzo immediately looks over at him, as if daring him to not say anything stupid.

 

Hiruzen unfolds his arms and smacks his knees hard, before perking up at them all very brightly. “We’re gonna stalk him.”

 

Danzo looks to the ceiling pleadingly, as if it would graciously fall and crush himself to death.

 

Torifu looks over at him. “You’re not serious.”

 

Hiruzen continues to smile at them all. Like a true idiot. “Oh, but I am.” He stands up tall, alert. “It’s the perfect maneuver. Since we can’t find out by word of mouth,” Hiruzen explains evenly. “‘Best we just catch him in the act. Eventually we’ll gather enough clues as to what happened, and the truth will be revealed.”

 

Koharu and Torifu eye him with true lackluster, while Danzo chooses to get up from his seat arduously to find a glass of water. He needed the hydration. It was going to be a long day.

 

Kagami throws away his apple to his left, and he sighs wearily. “Well...at this point, it’s not like we have anything to lose.” He says, obviously still thinking about his stolen red ribbon. “Why not.”

 

“He’ll know we’re tailing him.” Adds Torifu knowingly, looking straight over at Hiruzen. Everyone shared his look of apprehension. “I don’t want to become minced meat.”

 

“It will work.” Hirizen quickly claims with that brave motivational smile of his that always enlivens everyone else’s mood. “Trust me!”

 

***

 

It takes them a while to realize that perhaps stalking one’s laughably much more adept teacher, in hopes of not getting caught, would eventually lead to an embarrassing defeat almost automatically.

 

But for the record, Hiruzen had forgotten that his Sensei had placed specific seals around the village and perimeter the day the village was dedicated, so who’s fault was it really.

 

Certainly not his.

 

...Although his bruised and scornful teammates thought otherwise.

 

(Especially Danzo, who was eyeing his foolish teammate and his kunai collection with eerie calmness, that left Hiruzen feeling itchy)

 

Time for another plan then.

 

***

 

“So it’s like this,” Torifu says, pushing the painted rock forward on the map. “If we pull a diversion over here by the East, group two can move in and break into the targets quarters, here.”

 

“Question.” Asks Kagami, in front of him at the river bank. “Why am I the acorn?” He points to the stationary brown seed that was him. It stared back.

 

“Because we ran out of rocks.” Sighs Torifu, trying to get their focus back on track.

 

“...But there’s tons of rocks!...” Attests Kagami, looking around their environment.

 

Beside him Koharu, Hiruzen and Danzo look down at the map with uneasy looks.

 

Eventually Hiruzen props his arm on his knee with a sigh, sitting beneath the shady tree leaves. He didn’t have a better plan, so he supposed this one would just have to do. “Well sounds easy enough. Let’s go for it.”

 

Danzo sighs, not bothering to interject while Koharu looks down at her friend (somehow managing even though they are the same height) with disappointment.

 

“You realize Sensei’s home will be layered with protection seals and armed to the teeth with traps of the gory kind, right?” She tells him. “New Whirlpool-inspired updates too.”

 

“Oh I heard about that.” Replies Hiruzen pleasantly. He could just imagine the death-house now. “Sensei has been wanting Uzumaki-sama to tweak some entrance seals since fall. Good for him.”

 

“...We are _literally_ sitting on rocks.” Says Kagami.

 

“Oh, It would definitely be a suicide mission.” Says Torifu, in easy agreeance. He adjusts the pieces on the map. “However I want this wrapped up soon. I have a date tonight.”

“...Fine.” Allows Koharu in half-exasperation and what is probably half-curiosity, speaking for them all. She fixes her foot wrappings on each leg. “But I’m not going to be in group two. Remember what happened last time.”

 

Everyone's faces turn a bit sour at that. They all remembered all too well. The last time Koharu was the infiltrator, the team ended up in Rain country with singed hair and missing wallets. Danzo clears his throat.

 

Predictively...as a solution, everyone just turns to eye Kagami. The Uchiha makes an annoyed but resigned face as he gets up from his seat, dusting dirt off from his pants. _‘Kami. I better earn a rock for this.’_ He mutters.

 

***

 

“You thought that’d be discouraging? Well it’s not.” Kagami huffs incredulous.

 

Danzo just says. “You’re tragically dumb.”

 

They were both waiting among the rose bushes for the signal to commence the operation from Torifu. Well, at least Danzo was.

 

Currently Kagami was trying to scale the ivy on the house, to access the upper study window. Danzo was trying, although admittedly not that hard, at telling him to not do that.

 

“You will have to pull out all of those thorns, once you inevitably plummet into the bushes.” He tries again.

 

Kagami simply dismisses him. “It’s fine.”

 

Danzo crosses his arms, and scowls. He didn’t like his advice being so carelessly disregarded.

 

“Oh!” Kagami suddenly says from high above. “I was right. This window doesn’t have any barriers or seals!” He calls down.

 

In revenge for earlier—Danzo doesn’t alert him about the poisoned dart trap sitting on the ledge.

 

A few minutes later they were regrouped with the rest of their teammates, sitting once more in the Akimichi’s accommodating kitchen.

 

“We didn’t even get to perform the diversion.” Says Hiruzen, a tad wistful, watching Koharu help remove some more pointy thorns from Kagami's arm.

 

“Well at least you dodged the darts.” Says Torifu helpfully.

 

“What now?” Asks Koharu, finishing up the bandaging.

 

Hiruzen, leaning against the doorway, shrugs. This was starting to look harder than he thought. Which was a pity, because he really wanted to buy some new gear with his winnings before stock runs out. He sighs.

 

“Back to square one I guess.”

 

***

 

“I swear—if we run into one more marked object, and have to face Tobirama-sama’s quietly smug face as he trips us with chakra wire, I’m going to asphyxiate.” Drums out Torifu. “I cannot feel my toes.”

 

“Please don’t.” Replies Koharu evenly. “It would deny me the privilege of choking you myself.”

 

Kagami extracts the giant barbed branch from Hiruzen's tawny hair, and blinks wide at his friend. He stares at her like she was a new creature. “That was a bit dark Koharu.”

 

Hiruzen just waves a hand around at that, and flinches when the movement pulls at a fresh scrape near his armpit. “Ehh. She’s always like that when she repeatedly fails at something.” He drawls, dumping dirt out from his shoe. “She gets a tad touchy.”

 

Koharu turns around from her crossed seated position on the grass at that. “Shut. Up.” She grounds out, like his life was hanging in the balance. Perhaps it was. “Or I’ll feed your pet _rodent_ to a roaming hungry forest snake.”

 

“See?” Hiruzen replies, sounding vaguely faint. 

 

***

 

“Okay, we need to start directing these questions somewhere else.” Koharu promotes, after their impromptu five-minute break of patching up oozing wounds and broken prides was over. “We’re confronting the wrong people.”

 

Danzo glares at the dirt beneath his feet, and lifts up his head to eye her. His patience was wearing thin, like everyone else. This bet was beginning to rankle him up past normal levels of irritability. No sum of money was worth this much torture. And long exposure to Kagami.

 

However, extremely against his well wishing—the mystery surrounding their goal, was just too tempting to ignore. Also his ego wouldn’t allow it.

 

“Who do you have in mind then, exactly?” He challenges Koharu.

 

She looks at him imperiously. “Village workers.” Is all she offers, and Danzo lifts an eyebrow in surprise.

 

Yes, he thinks approvingly after a beat of silence, his thoughts matching everyone else's. Finding out through the primary witnesses of the ‘incident’ was a stroke of genius.

 

“Koharu,” Hiruzen greets from the left. “You’re deviousness has once again rescued us from tragedy. Please, lead the way.”

 

With that established, they all wordlessly mask their chakra and make their merry way over to the gatekeepers posts at the front borders.

 

***

 

They were quick to discover that not only did the shinobi at the gates not have the answers they wanted, but also that you shouldn’t come unprepared for such missions without any sort of bribe accompanying you.

 

Gatekeepers were a scary and greedy bunch.

 

What they did learn however was that even though there was no witnesses, the on-scene medi-nins would have the necessary information catalogued.

 

Which just made everyone sigh.

 

Everyone knew hospital records were sealed and hid-away better than a skittish hibernating bear in winter—

 

So the group of five ingeniously decide to just ambush yesterday’s overseeing nurse instead.

 

After careful execution, their ambush went off without a hitch—although the nurse they entrapped was completely impervious to their tactics and interrogations. She had either no respect for dangerous metal weaponry, or just Danzo, the designated interviewer, because she just smiled brightly at them like they were silly little curious Genin before moving on.

 

Medi-nins were apparently more scary than the gatekeepers.

 

Staff among the village now checked off, the group deny the sense of failure, and instead then decide to ask the only person left in the village, who knew anything and everything about their teacher:

 

Their Sensei’s _other_ close confidant.

 

Seeing as arguably his closest confidant was his elder brother—the Hokage who was already an established and automatic _no_ —the young shinobi move on to the next best thing. 

 

***

 

Predictively they should have seen it coming.

 

Uzumaki-sama was not known for ‘indulging juveniles’, as she so put.

 

Hiruzen was still pulling senbon out from his arm-guards when they left the Hokage tower. He didn’t know arms could bend like that, but Uzumaki Mito throwing dangerous needles from behind at a speed of seventy miles per hour, was certainly a new concept that was learned today.

 

And since everyone was still recovering from that heart-stopping moment that was Mito being annoyed by relentless questioning, they decide to lay low for the time being.

 

Which led them back to square one: stalking.

 

***

 

“We need to get more aggressive.” Danzo supplies, after shucking off the muddy leaves from his shoulders and arms. “Or we’ll never be able to get close.”

 

Koharu narrows her eyes at the dismantled trap below and doesn’t bother to scrub the dirt off her face. She just didn’t care anymore. “If we detain sensei to interrogate him, I’m pretty sure we’ll lose three-fourths of our limbs.” She says, reading his mind.

 

Hiruzen sighs. The acceptance of reality was clear on his face. “He’s right. It’s time to think seriously if we want to find out how it happened.” He nods. “It’s time for evasive maneuvers.”

 

Torifu walks over painfully slow, and plops down beside them on the tree limb. “You’re thinking about trapping him, aren’t you.” He says.

 

The plotting look he gets in return is all the answer he needs.

 

Torifu sighs and gets up again from his seat, pulling out a kunai as he does, longsufferingly.  “I’ll go cut Kagami down then.”

 

***

 

“Homura would know how to tie this type of knot.” Points out Torifu, fingers confusingly moving the rope in different directions.

 

“ _Yes_ , but Homura is on a mission right now. So we have to do it.” Hiruzen explains, hand movements quick and strong as he thinks about his absent teammate. “Besides. We can manage! This rope knotting stuff ain’t that hard. Look! One down.” He proudly lifts up his work.

 

Torifu looks up, and notices his friends weeded rope knot start to completely unfurl. Hiruzen's smile falls off his face. He jerks back the rope and eyes it dumbfounded.

 

Torifu looks at his teammate blankly before sighing and focusing back to his own work.

 

“It will be a miracle if these ropes manage to catch and hold sensei for even a second.”

 

***

 

They don't. Just as the tripwire was sprung, its prey was nowhere to be seen. A log was there instead, mocking them; Substitution jutsu.

 

Hiruzen groans as he eyes the mess. He slaved over those knots, and in return, he gets this. He knows Sensei triggered the trap just to taunt them, the sadist.

 

Time for another plan.

 

***

 

“I want a Spring funeral. And for the love of Kami, don’t skimp on the incense.”

 

“You’re going to be fine.” Reassures Koharu, patting Kagami's bandaged cheek. “You’ll be in and out.”

 

“What if I get caught?” Implores Kagami. “What do I _do_?”

 

Torifu steps into view and, possibly in a reassuring manner, responds. “Pretend you’re blind.”

 

Kagami doesn’t like that gameplan, and emphatically tells them all such.

 

Why was he was always the one doing this?

 

“Because you have the sharingan and can memorize all the information you read.” Answers back Hiruzen, placatingly. “And also because there is a three out of four chance that Madara-sama will be in there, and since he’s _your_ clan head, he’ll be more easy on you than us.”

 

Oh. He spoke out loud.

 

“Yeah.” Says Torifu.

 

Kagami hangs his head. He doesn’t get to sulk long before Koharu lifts up his chin, and more ink is getting painted on his face.

 

She nods after she’s done, setting down her equipment and eyeing her work with reverent satisfaction. “Okay. That’s all the chakra redirecting seals needed. You’re ready.”

 

With one last look towards his audience and fellow peers, his gaze stops on the last shinobi standing, hoping for encouraging words.

 

“Don’t die.” Is all Danzo says.

 

Kagami bites back a whimper.

 

***

 

Once inside the, thankfully, empty room—Kagami quickly does his third sweep of the area with his senses, before swallowing nervously.

 

The paranoia, sometimes healthy though sometimes self-destructing, helps Kagami creatively list all the possible ways the room was warded to effortlessly disembowel him.

 

He thinks back to the report Tobirama-sama gave them after he helped construct the administration building, and how he distinctly remembers the man somberly gloating about all of the exploding tags he embedded in the walls for intruders.

 

Kagami shrugs. Well if he was going to die young...best go out with a bang and while simultaneously endorsing his teachers tagging skills. He was doing the man a favor, in a way.

 

As he hops down from ceiling to floor, he deftly makes his way over to the wooden desk in the room and hunts down his objective.

 

Once he finds where the Hokage puts the mission reports, he snorts.

 

They weren’t even guarded? How sloppy.

 

He silently promises to himself to talk to his mentor after this was all done about needing a better security detail in here, and grabs the stack.

 

Oh man. His worst dreams and his teachers wishes were coming true: he was becoming concerned about civil service.

 

 _‘That just won’t do’_ , he thinks to himself as he sifts through the rice papers. _‘I better not do anything mature for the rest of the month to balance it out.’_

 

Once he _finally,_  with a satisfied grin on his face, finds the mission report from the night before—recognizing his teachers name and handwriting and lifting it up to read like it was from the divine—Kagami notices the air in front of the door shift.

 

He hastily drops the papers and scurries away all the evidence before the door opens, and realizes that this probably wasn’t the best thing to spend his Saturday doing.

 

Uchiha Madara effortlessly fits through the door, gaze lazily scanning the room before it just silently stops and sets on Kagami.

 

The intruding shinobi innerly curses his luck and prays fervently for a different death. He’d rather die by the exploding tags...

 

Kagami blinks, sticks out an unsure hand, and hesitantly rests it on the desk. He goes for a casual greeting. “...Hey.”

 

Madara sees the youngers oddly completely inked-up body, and he stares.

 

“Why do you look like you just came out of a prison tattoo parlor?” The clan head eventually asks, monotone, after a painstakingly awkward silence. Kagami manages to not wince.

 

‘Abort. Abort. Abort.’

 

At the silence, Madara continues to frown, somehow managing to look frightening and yet exasperated at the same time. The man takes a deep breath, before re-addressing his pathetic relative. “Kagami. What are you doing in here.”

 

“Wow. Great question…” Kagami commends, inching backwards towards the still opened window.

 

He might have blown his op, he thinks to himself, as he slinks to make contact with his exit, but he could still maybe escape with his soul intact. Maybe.

 

“It is.” Madara says, taking easy pronounced steps into the apparently not-so-restricted room, voice thrumming low. “So answer it.”

 

Kagami makes an odd sound, when suddenly a gust of wind blew harshly through the space and the window collapses shut in front of his nose.

 

He turns to eye his clan head painfully slow, attitude suspiciously perking up as he regards him. “Ah!..” He says to him faintly. “Perhaps we can just...mutually pretend that this never happened?”

 

Undried black ink from his armor drips onto the floor.

 

Madara doesn’t cross his arms to show his thinning patience, but he does lower his chin, staring him down. Kagami could feel the depths of the inferno that is his clan heads temper, raging up to fillet him like a fish.

 

He gives the expectant man a feeble, weak smile as he responds back, already mourning his respectability as he does.

 

“...I’m blind?”

 

***

 

“I can’t believe he didn’t put you under village arrest,” comments Danzo. “That’s what I would have done.”

 

Kagami, still dripping from his dip in the lake, which occurred so he could _‘wash off all that pesky ink!’_ As Madara-sama so generously put before tossing him in, gave his teammate a frown.

 

“I am squelching, as I walk.” He says.

 

Danzo rolls his eyes, unsympathetic. “You got off easy.”

 

Kagami's soggy sandals says otherwise.

 

He sighs wearily, unceremoniously sticking a finger in his ear to dislodge some more water, and looks around. “Wait. Where is everyone else?” He asks.

 

Danzo picks up his book that was resting beside him on the bench, and opens it up to read. “Well. They left.” He offers.

 

Kagami turns to face him curiously. “What?...How come?”

 

Danzo turns a single page. “They left to go get a good deal for your funeral. A nearby store was offering a discount.” He says, tone bland.

 

Kagami couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

 

***

 

“Do you guys need ice? Narcotics? An Intervention?” Asks Torifu’s mother before she leaves the kitchen, stepping delicately over Kagami's strewn hand as she quickly places a basket of fruit onto the table.

 

Torifu, Hiruzen, and Danzo automatically snapback “No.” just as Koharu accentuates her response of “ _Yes_.”

 

She just hums sympathetically.

 

“You could give us that watermelon.” Kagami to her right, bargains. She notes that he is sopping wet.

 

The big fruit gets set onto the ground.

 

***

 

“That’s it.” Says Koharu, steps heavier than lead as she enters back into the room yet after another failed attempt. “That was our last shot. Any other attempts at finding out what happened to Sensei, will now only result in homicide.”

 

“ _And it will be by her hand._ ” Mutters Torifu to Danzo. Koharu’s gaze snaps over to him and Torifu strategically moves out of her eye range.

 

Hiruzen groans into the counter beneath his face, and breathes deeply. His entire body was too sore to move. Not even a pinkie was spared.

 

“Well we haven’t tried everything.” Kagami encouragingly proposes. He's sitting in a chair this time, an ice pack resting against his cheek. “We could...uh.”

 

Koharu massages her forehead with her dainty fingers, willing herself to not throw a conveniently nearby cake tin at her teammates head. If she hears one more crazy maneuver involving sneaking and or trapping, she is going to go crazy.

 

Torifu sighs and radiates lethargy at everyone around him as he voices his pessimistic opinion out loud. “We’ve tried everything...It’s not like we can just ask Tobirama-Sama.”

 

The group mutually cringes at the thought.

 

They saw some run-of-the-mill chunin ask the Senju something of that nature earlier, and the shinobi now has night patrol duty for the rest of the week...Without relief.

 

The poor man’s wedding was tomorrow.

 

Danzo hisses as he changes out the bandages and gauze around his sternum, and lets his shirt drop as he finishes his ministrations. “The bets are obviously off.” He mutters darkly. “No one can come to the conclusion of how it happened, so we’re all gypped.” He turns distinctively to his left, facing their finance keeper. “Torifu. Hand me back my money.”

 

Before the Akimichi could do just that—Hiruzen lifts his head after Danzo's gloomy sentence, and blinks away some fatigue from his eyes. “Oh.” He suddenly says.

 

The nearby four look over at him with attuned bored looks. They looked expectant though. Even Danzo.

 

Hiruzen obliges. Glad they haven't all given up on the bet (read:him) just yet. “We’ll con him.”

 

Kagami slowly blinks at him.

 

“That’s the dumbest plan yet.”

 

“No hear me out.” Hiruzen replies back, suddenly more enthused. His eyes light up like an exploding tag. Kagami is automatically apprehensive. “The only way we can find out what happened on the mission is if we get Sensei to tell us. Right?”

 

“—and no way with Nine tails that's going to happen..”

 

“So the obvious solution is that we just trick him into revealing it to us.” Hiruzen finishes sensibly, proudness seeping out of him. The kitchen attendees stare at him.

 

“You want us to swindle Tobirama-Sama.” Torifu says flatly.

 

Hiruzen sheepishly looks at him, and rubs at his neck. “Well. Yeah...When you put it like that.”

 

“Oh alright. Just checking.”

 

Koharu folds her arms against her still muddy chest, and eyes her genin teammate skeptically. “And how exactly do you plan to do that? He’s not exactly the dullest kunai in the set.”

 

Hiruzen hums. “Well. Actually I was thinking of having one of us henge into Hokage-Sama,” He explains, both hands acting out the scenario on the table. “And walk up to Sensei and talk with him…” He stops. “But that won’t work because Sensei would sense us right away.”

 

The group frowns in thought, feeling their small hope wither away and die.

 

Like a lantern igniting, Hiruzen suddenly snaps his fingers and says, “Or someone could just henge as Sensei.”

 

Everyone understandably looks at him bizarrely. Kagami was starting to think he was going to develop chronic whiplash from all the head turning he was doing today.

 

Eventually, Torifu bravely asks “What do you mean?” Since that comment clearly demanded further explanation, and everyone else was too afraid and tired to ask.

 

Hiruzen sits up, and a conspiring devilish look is soon back on his face. “One of us will henge as Tobirama-sensei and then bring it up _ourselves_.”

 

The only thing anyone could hear for the next few seconds was the outside bird cawing from a distance.

 

After a beat of stunned stillness and the closing of gobs, Kagami raises an eyebrow and leans back in his weathered straw seat. “Well we can’t just walk up to Hashirama-sama,” He adds slowly, amiably, mind whirring. “He’s too familiar with Tobirama-sensei. He’d know it’s us a mile away.”

 

Torifu hums, the same spirit developing. “We need to walk up to someone who is more likely to not...notice.” He glances pointedly to Hiruzen.

 

“Hmm.” Hiruzen agrees, eyeing his wise Uchiha and Akimichi friend knowingly. He smiles. Perhaps they would make it into the Hospitals archives after all.

 

“And I know just the person.”

 

***

 

Amongst the hustle and bustle of the Konoha hospitals walkways, lured the secretive and goal driven young shinobi of five. To their appreciation, no staff members knew of their existence and future dishonorable intentions.

 

“This isn’t gonna work. Why did we send Koharu out?” Kagami whispers. He’s hiding behind one of the tall hallway pillars within the hospitals many corridors, as is the rest of the crew, and feeling very uneasy.

 

Hiruzen sighs tiredly. Kagami has a... _reputation_ with the hospital. “Because she’s the better actor out of all of us. She can nail Sensei’s temperament and personality better than anyone here.”

 

Torifu frowns. “I beg to differ.”

 

He turns and looks straight at the person down the line.

 

Danzo squares up from his slouch and scowls at his accuser with clear distaste.

 

“See.” The Akimichi comments, twirling a finger around. “He even has his same look of aversion down.”

 

Danzo flips him off.

 

“Scary.” Kagami agrees, solemnly.

 

Hiruzen rolls his eyes, flicking Kagami on the forehead simultaneously, before directing their focuses back on their mission. Poor Koharu was going to get waylaid out there if they kept this up.

 

“Remember. We’re here to help seal the deal if necessary, so we can’t get sidetracked.”

 

Kagami grimaces. “I’m just so...apprehensive.” He admits. “What if the nurse catches on? Impersonating a high official is a guaranteed black mark here…” He makes a face. “The nurses already hate me. I don’t want to give them more torment incentive.”

 

“Just trust in Koharu okay?” Hiruzen says. “She’s really—oh Kami.” He suddenly cuts off, gaze halting. Everyone perks up. “Why is she _standing_ like that?”

 

Simultaneously they all poke their heads out from behind the pillars to watch as Koharu, who was respectively henged as Senju Tobirama, stand by the front desk horribly rigid.

 

“It’s like she’s never stood before.” Murmurs Torifu after a beat.

 

Danzo doesn’t comment, face unimpressed.

 

“She’s probably just nervous.” Argues Hiruzen faintly. His optimism was commendable. “Sensei does stand tall and straight.”

 

“She looks like she’s in pain.” Is all Kagami says.

 

Hiruzen winces.

 

He takes that remark as his cue to be responsible. Someone had to be, afterall.

 

If anyone at the hospital clued in on _Tobirama-sama’s_ odd posture, their operation would be blown to high heavens. (And most importantly, so would their money pool.) He quickly waves a hand to get her attention and once he does, he signs for her to ease up. She grimaces, but lets her shoulders drop to look more natural. Thank goodness.

 

“This was a mistake. We’re going to get stuck with elderly escort missions for _Months_.” Mutters Torifu, rolling his eyes.

 

A passing-by employee looks over at them strangely.

 

Thankfully, or un-thankfully, that was when the nurse who went to go retrieve the official transcripts for yesterday’s mission, came back to the desk.

 

Biwako fixes her uniform collar, and saddles right up to the counter with the case-scroll in hand.

 

“Well Senju-Sama, here’s the log that you asked for.” She says, holding out one pristine scroll outwards. It had the hospital colored wax stamp and everything, Hiruzen notes. It was beautiful.

 

Koharu nods, and sticks out a hand to take it from her. “Thank you.” She says, voice mimicking the perfect pitch. She makes sure her shoulders stay relaxed too, they all witness. Excellent.

 

The nurse nods dispassionately, and waits for the man before her to open up the scroll.

 

“I don’t know why you would need it for your mission report, Senju-Sama.” She starts. “But I hope it does what you need it to do.”

 

“Yes.” Koharu says flatly, already thinking about how much money she was going to rack-up because of this. “It will.” And then she’s giving the medical staff member a clipped nod, before turning away to walk out the building, as was planned.

 

“Oh, uh wait, Senju-Sama…” Biwako suddenly calls out, a bit stunned. “You can’t leave with the hospitals official transcripts; You enacted that rule yourself!”

 

Those words were definitely unexpected.

 

Hiruzen lets out a long mangled sentence while swiftly looking around for an exit window, while Kagami starts to wilt like an annual flower in the winter.

 

Koharu bites the inside of her cheek, and nods stiffly at the remark—although in the inside she’s rapidly reconfiguring; trying to adapt. “...Of course.”

 

It would seem, after a quick assessment everyone shared: she was going to have to open and read the mission report right then and there.

 

Although everyone was buzzing with extreme nerves, Torifu covering his eyes with one hand while Danzo made sure Hiruzen and Kagami didn’t give their position away—the raw excitement of finally being able to know about _what happened_ , quickly registered.

 

The four teens shamelessly peer around to watch.

 

Koharu sighs covertly and with fine control, starts to unravel the scroll. This was it. The moment of truth. It was right there, ink embedded within the fine paper below word for word. She swallows heavily.

 

It was time.

 

Koharu unties and slides the scroll open.

 

Like witnessing the divine descend from heaven, it was if a rapturous moment shown down upon her. The heavens parted and the scroll paper sounded vaguely like singing angels. Koharu knew right then and there that this moment would forever define her life, and her future descendants to come. In fact she was so caught up in the act (that was highly illegal and definitely unethical)

 

...The young kunoichi didn’t notice the frantic waves that her teammates were suddenly throwing directly her way.

 

“Oh!” The nurse abruptly calls out, gasping, jarring Koharu from her reverie. A real mood killer. She looks up and sees Biwako’s eyes become strangely larger.

 

“Tobirama-Sama!!!”

 

Oddly—Koharu is slow to note as she watches the nurse look past her shoulders—the other staff in the room seem to simultaneously _freeze_. She cocks her head. It was almost as if they were...

 

\--A heavy and _familiar_ hand suddenly falls down and lands stiffly onto her right armored shoulder.

 

Koharu stills.

 

Then her whole body goes cold when she recognizes the chakra.

 

Oh.

 

She looks up.

 

Oh _no_.

 

Her hands release the scroll purely out of self preservation, while the croak of “We’re so dead” From Torifu could be heard by somewhere up ahead. Hiruzen shields his eyes from the situation with his hand looking like he was in some resigned, tragic misery, while Kagami silently cries and Danzo just stands there blank.

 

The surrounding area of the hospital is silent.

 

“I don’t get paid enough for this.” Mumbles a very tired Biwako.

 

***

 

The harbinger of death himself.

 

Hiruzen watches his Sensei a few feet ahead, the spot they all clustered to outside of the hospital glowing with the setting sun colors.

 

“I just want to say,” He says to his flock of loyal and dutiful teammates. “That it was a pleasure knowing all of you. Especially you—Biwako.”

 

Set apart from the five teen shinobis, Biwako, his long-time crush, stands by the fence and glares at him unimpressed.

 

“Yikes.” Comments Torifu from behind, like his opinion was worth mentioning. “You really botched up everything today, didn’t you.”

 

Hiruzen elects to ignore that.

 

From beside him, Kagami twitches, like he was having a hard time standing still. He probably was. “Kami. I can’t take it anymore.” He mutters. “I just wish he delivers the punishment swiftly and soon. This suspense is killing me.”

 

Koharu wearily huffs and rolls her eyes.

 

“He’s letting us stew.” Remarks Danzo analytically from nearby the tree. “Creating a false sense of security; Shinobi handbook, under torture techniques.” He clarifies.

 

Kagami makes a strangled noise.

 

Hiruzen takes a deep breath and watches the sun continue to set in the corner of his eye. “Well on the bright side,” he mollifies. “No one lost the pool.”

 

“Yeah because no one won, either.” Koharu rebuffs.

 

Hiruzen grimaces.

 

“This was all a giant mistake.” Kagami announces, morbid. “We’re all gonna die.”

 

“At worst, he’s going to suspend us from duty,” Torifu rationalizes, watching the adults converse. “And maybe strip us of our rank.”

 

“Oh Kami.” Kagami's face plummets. “I can’t go back to being a Genin. I won’t.”

 

“Didn’t you just qualify for the Jonin exams?” Asks Koharu, somewhat sympathetic.

 

Kagami turns around and thunks his head against a nearby tree in answer.

 

The five teammates settle into mutual silence at that, all of them unable to look away from their teacher in the distance who was still talking to head hospital staff.

 

Everyone’s breathing stilts when the hospital nins suddenly divert away, heading back inside.

 

“Whatever happens,” Danzo says from behind. “Just know that I hate all of you, and that I am prepared to snitch.”

 

“I’m gonna die.” Whispers Kagami in resigned horror, as Tobirama _finally_ turns and takes his steps towards their direction.

 

In a way that seemed to be predetermined and inevitable, like a storybooks final page, the adult Senju comes to a stop just a few feet in front of his charges. He greets them with deafening silence and a stone cold expression.

 

None of them, of the five, dared to speak first. It seemed the conclusion of their antics and day’s behavior spoke for itself, and they all knew of their teacher’s legendary and infamous attitude with strong certainty...They just wished they had time to write out their wills.

 

Tobirama takes an even breath, before crossing his arms over his battle armor in the cool evening air. In one simple word, he demands.

 

“Explain.”

 

Kagami jumps at the chance for redemption. Or, at the very least, for a lessened penance. “We are so sorry.” He blurts out.

 

Tobirama lifts an eyebrow.

 

That seems to trigger the avalanche. Suddenly mouths run off, all simultaneously tripping over their words as they try to explain.

 

“But—“

 

“Sensei! It was all because..”

 

“—but then the limb fell!..”

 

“..I told her not to! Honest!”

 

“—And I was the _acorn_! And then…”

 

“..but don’t worry! We fixed the damages..”

 

“I can’t feel my right toe anymore…”

 

“Enough.” Their mentor spoke after a beat with a sigh, the command making all of the garbled excuses fall silent.

 

Tobirama turns to his left, eyeing the young kunoichi that was adrift from the group near him. “Biwako.” He says. “You’re dismissed. Head home.”

 

At the address Biwako nods in visible relief, obviously thankful to be spared and dares a quick glance at her peers, before turning and retreating.

 

Finally alone, the five shinobi measurably look up.

 

“Saru,” Tobirama's authoritative voice cuts through the silence, making them all stand up significantly straighter like their puppet strings were pulled, “Care to condense?” He asks, with arms neatly folded against his chest.

 

Knowing that there was no more time left for stalling, or even flee, Hiruzen sighs and finally obliges. “There’s a bet.” He admits.

 

Tobirama stares at him, unaffected.

 

“It’s well…” Hiruzen continues, fighting the urge to nervously fidget like some child. He was a shinobi for goodness sakes. “We were interested.”

 

At that, Tobirama measurably lifts an eyebrow. Hiruzen watches the expression with a grimace. That must be painful. “Interested?” He repeats dryly.

 

“Yeah. Yes.” Hiruzen says like he was glad he understood—before falling deadly silent and not elaborating.

Tobirama sighs longsufferingly, once it was clear that his students weren’t going to make this easy, and lifts up a hand and pinches the area between his eyes. Hiruzen grimaces again.

 

“Sensei,” Koharu says, coming to her pitiful teammates aid, thank the stars. “We all betted on how you...well.” She dwindles off, obviously unsure of how to finish that sentence. “Er..”

 

“How I…” Tobirama hedges.

 

Koharu’s mouth twists as she flounders to think of words, looking remarkably like she sucked on a sour fruit, when Torifu cuts in next.

 

“The bet doesn’t matter.” He says, nodding as if to reassure them all. Everyone hesitates before nodding rapidly in unison. “The fact is we acted inappropriately, Sensei.”

 

“Terribly inappropriate.” Confirms Danzo solemnly from behind.

 

Everyone's silent again as they all rotate and pointedly stare at the last teammate standing who had yet to add his piece.

 

“Yes.” Kagami says emphatically, nodding vigorously while rubbing the side of his arm where Koharu swiftly pinched him. “Terribly _terribly_ inappropriate.”

 

Hiruzen turns away and covers his face.

 

Tobirama, most likely done with their antics, and wanting to go home to sleep after a very taxing mission, finally gives them their well-earned dressing-down. “You abused your abilities as shinobi, and wasted valuable training-time while doing it. If that’s not bad enough, you roped the Hospital staff into your excursion as well.”

 

They all nod, shame faced. Except Danzo who just looked mildly dyspeptic.

 

Tobirama didn’t speak for a while, eyeing them silently. “I should have your high-rank mission permittance stripped.”

 

Ignoring everyone's sudden disappointment and escalating misery, the man continues with deep resignation, “But I’m not. You’re behaviors today were less than ideal...but talentedly executed.” Everyone perks up slowly at that, but deflates when they see Tobirama frown. “Ten extra laps tomorrow morning before training, and no social breaks for a week.” He assigns. “Now, dismissed.”

 

After the liberating words, feeling bone-tired and weary, the teens bow then amble away from the hospital and collapse onto the nearby village bench, some leaning, while looking like gloomy but hopeful zombies.

 

“Wow,” Voices Kagami first as he plops down besides Hiruzen, sounding like he ran ten laps already. “I have never been so glad for extra laps in my life.”

 

“You’re not even on our team.” Says Koharu, propping her feet up, but she sounded relieved too. Heck, they all looked it.

 

“Yeah. But if you think he’s gonna spare me, then you're wrong.” The Uchiha was already imagining what would happen if he didn’t show up to the training fields tomorrow, and It involved caltrops, waterlogged clothing, and a stern talking to his mom.

 

Danzo joins them lastly, crossing his arms as he stands beside Torifu who sits on the arm rest, chin in hand. “...The bet.” The Akimichi announces after a silent lull, nobody looking at each other. “The question still stands.”

 

The air gently breezes around as the teens all take in a long inhale before exhaling. They all wanted to know how it happened, but their hope at ever finding out was now...gone.

 

Hiruzen sits up from his weird slouch, and scratches under his chin. “Well…” he says, confronting the air. “It just wasn’t meant to be...We’ll never figure out how Sensei got it.” Everyone manages to slump even further.

 

“Got what?” Inquires a new voice.

 

Heads snap up quickly (except Danzo’s). They all eye the newcomer with clear surprise.

 

“Homura!” Kagami greets first with a grin, sitting up straight. “Welcome back!”

 

They all quickly stand up to visit their returned teammate, who is fixing his glasses which seemed to have some type of dirt on them, and flock around him.

 

“Thank you. It’s nice seeing everyone.”

 

“Hey!” Hiruzen says, dropping an arm across his shoulders. “How was the mission?”

 

Homura shrugs underneath his armor. “Oh, you know. A typical B-rank. Had a bit hectic schedule but we all got the job done in the end.”

 

“Come on,” Koharu says dutifully, ushering him towards their claimed bench, more than happy to get their minds off of their hard day. Everyone seemed to agree. “Come sit and tell us what you can.”

 

“Yeah, story time!” Encourages Kagami. He sits and pats the seat next to him.

 

“Oh. Ok…” Homura says, acquiescing. “Well, it was in Wind country.”

 

“You went with Shozune-san and Tamaki-san, right?” Prods Torifu.

 

“Oh yes originally.” Homura confirms from his seat. “But Sensei came to join us on the last day of the Op.”

 

Everyone seems to stilt at that. Homura doesn’t know why. “Um. What?” Asks Kagami eventually, looking at his peer like he must have misheard him.

 

Homura adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose, and nods openly. “Tobirama-Sensei came up around zero-five hundred hours yesterday. He left after the mission was completed, then left us to finish everything up.”

 

Hiruzen exchanges quick looks with everyone around, before turning and looking at him squarely in the eye. “Is that so?” He says slowly, conversationally.

 

“Yes,” Homura says slowly, looking at them oddly. Especially Danzo, who was given him some eerie stare-down from the left.

 

Torifu makes an acknowledging noise, motioning for Homura to continue. “And...uh. What happened during the mission Homura?”

 

Suddenly everyone’s eyes were boring into his person, and Homura felt himself start to sweat. He must be missing something here. “Um.”

 

“C'mon guys, give him some room.” Koharu chastises, thankfully, before patting Homura on the shoulder from behind. “Take your time Homura.” She says gently.

 

Homura smiles back slowly, his unease disappearing. He sighs, nodding. “Right! Well. It was a simple grab and run, but we did get into a...weird predicament at the end…” He admits.

 

Hiruzen clears his throat. Homura looks at him.

 

“Did it involve the mission turning tragically awry, by chance?”

 

The question earns him a slightly confused look. “No…I wouldn’t say that.” Homura replies, before realizing that his teammate must want an exciting action story...

 

Hiruzen curses before he gets shoved by Danzo for interrupting. Homura continues.

 

“As I was saying, with the mission underway we noticed that one of our scouts hadn’t returned from his afternoon patrol.”

 

“Was he a rookie?” Kagami interjects to ask, looking desperate. He gives the Uchiha an honest ‘no’.

 

“...So we backtracked to find him. He was found lying near his sword. Apparently he was just knocked unconscious by enemy nin, but still was out of commission so Sensei took over his post.”

 

“And then?” Asks Koharu, suddenly peering over the bench. “Did Sensei experience combat? With a kanabō?”

 

“N-no…” Homura says, not liking her morbid question. “Not that I’m aware of.”

 

“What about summons?” Torifu asks quickly, getting closer to him. Homura scoots back a degree. “Did Tobirama-sama invoke the wrath of his snow leopards?”

 

A nodding Hiruzen beside him, occurs before Homura had even a chance to blink. “Those snow leopards _are_ a gruesome bunch.” Hiruzen mutters approvingly.

 

Definitely confused now, Homura frowns, shaking his head in negation. This didn’t seem right. He sits up and looks wary up around at them all. “What’s this about...?”

 

“Was there spiders?” Interrupts Danzo.

 

Homura halts, and looks at him bizarrely, blinking.

“What? _No_ —”

 

“Oh for the love of..” Says Koharu, jumping over the back of the bench and landing in front of her teammates. Homura doesn’t have a chance to even breathe before the kunoichi has her arms placed on her waist and is bending down to look at him face to face.

 

“How did it happen?”

 

“W-what? How did _what_ happen?”

 

“Was Madara-sama involved?”

 

“Did he use his Gunbai?” Pipes up Kagami from her left. Homura gapes.

 

“This is useless.” Chimes in Danzo, interrupting her interrogation much to Homura's relief and intensely growing confusion. “He doesn’t know,” The scarred shinobi makes direct eye contact with the other. “He’s clearly as clueless as the rest of us.”

 

Homura feels modestly insulted. “Hey,”

 

“Yeah,” Hiruzen sighs, looking a bit disheartened. Homura wonders why he looks so pathetic. “Sadly, I think you’re right.” He lets his chin fall into his awaiting palms.

 

“Now hold on,” Pipes up Torifu, ever the pacifier. “He didn’t finish his story.”

 

“Yeah.” Kagami sounds off, sitting up straighter. “For all we know, the bet is still on.”

 

Homura flounders. _Bet?_

 

“Oh give it a rest. We were all wrong,” Koharu retorts with a sigh, kicking a rock. “Even if we did find out, Sensei would know the minute we do and double our punishment.”

 

“But we agreed that whoever was closest would win, right?” Rejoinders Hiruzen. He looks more livened now. Homura in contrast looks devastatingly lost.

 

“True.” Nods Kagami, voice lilt. “It would be unsportsmanlike to back out now.”

 

 _Unsportsmanlike?_ Homura was seriously debating whether he should have prolonged his mission in Wind a day later.

 

He was about to question his peers crumbling sanity’s when he suddenly notices a very familiar chakra close-in on their location. Given by everyone’s faces, they did too.

 

Tobirama-Sensei walks out from the hospital without much fanfare a beat later, straightaway looking over at the miscellaneous group of shinobi with a flat blank look. Homura instantly freezes. He did not look happy. A medi-nin followed behind him with a clipboard.

 

“I thought,” The Senju breaks the silence after a minute, stopping near them with a sigh. “That I dismissed you all from the premises. Do I have to spell it out for you?”

 

Hiruzen gulps but stands straight up. Everyone knew dismissals were Senju-code for ‘go home to rest’.“No! Sorry Sensei. We were just going.”

 

“Yeah. We ran into Homura, who just recently got back from his mission.” Kagami says helpfully.

 

“I’m aware,” Tobirama states.

 

And that was that.

 

Not wanting to rock the boat, With one look, the teens all stood up and sheepishly began to independently scatter. A wise response, but not before the teens made sure that their new well of information was aware of continuing at a later date.

 

“We’ll finish this talk later!” Hiruzen says to him pointedly as he retreats. Homura blinks, dazed, but dutifully waves goodbye to them all remotely.

 

“Bye Homura!” Kagami says, the last to leave.

 

Once his teammates were fully gone, he’s alone with his teacher, both standing in the village street with colors washed by the setting sun, looking at their disappearing figures. Homura feels his feet shift uneasily beneath him.

 

“Uh Sensei,” He says, turning to the two adults sheepish, he gulps. “A-about earlier!..”

 

The Senju lifts an eyebrow, and keeps his gaze on the trees, limbs crossed. “I said to not worry about it, Homura.” He responds, turning to the medi-nin.

 

“Still.” The teen says, eyes guilty, words rapidly pouring out of his mouth like water. “I..I can’t believe I did that!”

 

Turning, Tobirama heads back to the hospital to finish conducting his village business. Obviously, deeming their conversation over. Homura turns to look and sure enough, he sees the right side of his mentors face, and feels the guilt consume him.

 

He’s just about to insist again, when he sees his teacher begin to smirk.

 

“...It was a lucky punch.” The man declares lowly after a few agonizing seconds, and if Homura was hearing things correctly, he sounded proud.

 

Homura stands there in a clear stupor. His teacher opens his mouth once more, since his student clearly needed it. “Go home. Get some sleep. Group training tomorrow at standard time. Don’t be late.” And then he’s finally disappearing into the medical building past the doors leaving the Chunin all alone again.

 

Homura groans and lifts his hands up to his face and harshly rubs it in despair. His emotions were definitely all over the place. Exhaustion and remorse were a terrible duo...not to mention the apprehension he felt about team training tomorrow...

 

If his teammates ever found out he landed a lucky punch on their teacher while field sparring, he’d be the laughing-stock of the year! And then no doubt mocked for _eternity_. Homura turns to head home, feet willingly leaving the hospital grounds, and he sighs long sufferingly.

 

...probably best to not tell them he gave Sensei that black eye, then.

 

The End

 

***

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Favorite scene, character, or joke? Let me know!
> 
>  
> 
> Alternative ending for the hospital scene:
> 
> “Oh Kami,” 
> 
> Everyone suddenly stops and looks towards Kagami in the corner, as he crouches low before rising up. In his fingers was something being clutched tight. “I can’t believe it.” He mutters lifting up his cargo...He sticks out his hand, in awe.
> 
> “My ribbon!” 
> 
> Silence fell over the hospital corridor, as the Uchiha stands there in proud, strong, surprise. His teammates mutually stare at him, as do most of the surrounding staff.
> 
>  
> 
> “I don’t get paid enough for this.” Mumbles a tired Biwako.


End file.
